What is a funeral for?

   This morning I learned that my favourite uncle had died … last August. I only found out because I called the seniors’ home where he lived, just to chat for a few minutes. Stunned by the news, I immediately called his son who told me that it had been his wishes to keep it small – into a box and gone, with no fuss or fanfare.

   While I can understand that his preferences are paramount, I believe that funerals were designed for the people who are left behind. It’s our chance to reflect, remember, and grieve with other people who also knew the deceased. We can hear stories and share our own. It’s also an opportunity to express our condolences to the immediate family.

   As an only child, I was deeply touched by the people who cared enough to attend the funerals of both my parents. They had taken time out of their busy day to dress up and express their support.

   There weren’t enough seats to accommodate everyone at my mother’s funeral service. In theatre terms, it was standing room only. She died a month before she was due to retire from teaching. Her favourite position had been teacher librarian. Over the years, I have met a number of people who were so influenced by her that they, too, went into library work. Just this week, I e-met (through a mutual friend on Facebook) another woman who had had my mother as a teacher. She has been telling me what she remembered about my mother. It makes me feel good that my mother left such a legacy, and it helps, even almost thirty years later.

   At the moment, I’m overwhelmed by memories of my favourite uncle and am composing a letter to send to my cousins. Because I don’t have the opportunity to talk to others about Uncle Bill in person, I will post it here.

   I suppose these reflections are purely self-indulgent, but what is a blog, if not self-indulgent?