Hmm. I'm not thrilled with line two, but will leave it for now ... until my inner editor surfaces one day (I have a feeling that it's not far off) and I'll whip through all the problems in the verses and get them closer to what I want.
I gaze at you from ocean’s chilly depths
And see you doing stretches by the shore.
I noticed that you seem to shift your steps
To push yourself to reach a wee bit more.
I gaze at you from cloudy threatening skies
And watch you as you take your daily run,
And when you lift a weight for exercise;
To train yourself for heavy lance and gun.
I gaze at you from dullest hillside stones
As you ride by upon your war-trained mount;
But you’re preparing for the foes well known
Who tilt to mark the day of Royal count.
From ashes I have told you what I see.
Pray tell me sir, what do you see in me?
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